theperfect.mismatch

DEMOCRATIC:
You have two
cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being
successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN:
You have
two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST:
You have
two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form
a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST:
You have
two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait
in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN
STYLE:
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and
build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two
cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk
the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN
CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to
yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the
milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an
announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing
expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two
cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and
drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two
cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded
trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN
CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all
blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles
an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per
year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but
you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful
woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN
CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count
them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count
them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over
however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION:
You have all the cows in
Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any
creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government
to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy
weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION:
You have two
cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their
mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION:
You have two
bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk
them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION:
You have one cow.
The
cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's
Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow
wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in
half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION:
You have a black cow and
a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people
who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black
one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some
people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from
out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking
cow.

// posted by guy in blue @ 18:06